5 Tips to Soar & Survive the Sizzle!

What will be taking up your time this summer?

Vacations, golf leagues, kids camps plus a demanding work schedule? You may be overwhelmed just thinking of it all before summer begins. Are you wondering how you will survive the summer sizzle and avoid burnout or a slump OR are you excited counting the days until the bell rings and vacations start?

If you are going to focus on work you may want to develop a plan for the summer months that will minimize disruption and maximize opportunities during the hot season.

With a bit of forward planning, you can make your summer sizzle with great results.

Here are my 5 tips to help you soar through summer. Continue reading

Are You a Perfectionist?

Are You a Perfectionist?

Almost everyone pursues perfection — doing the best job you can, setting goals and working hard to reach them, and maintaining high standards. But perfectionism isn’t about any of this.

Perfectionism is a maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mistakes, personal limitations, or the changing of minds.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships. Ultimately, it can create or aggravate illnesses.

If you are wondering if you are a perfectionist, answer the following questions:

1. Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?

2. Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry while trying to meet my standards?

3. Have I been told that my standards are too high?

4. Do my standards get in my own way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions you may have a problem with perfectionism.

Perfection

Perfectionism affects how one thinks, behaves, and feels.

If you have difficulties with perfectionism, it can make you feel depressed, frustrated, anxious, and even angry – especially if you constantly criticize yourself for not doing a good enough job after spending a lot of time and effort on a task.

Some examples of perfectionistic thinking are:

  • Black-and-white thinking (e.g. “Anything less than perfection is a failure”)
  • Catastrophic thinking (e.g. “If I make a mistake in front of my others, I’ll be humiliated)
  • Probability overestimation (e.g. “My supervisor will think I am lazy if I take a couple of sick days.”)
  • Should statements (e.g. “I should never make mistakes” )

Some examples of perfectionistic behaviour are chronic procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily, overly cautious, excessive checking, and constantly trying to improve things by re-doing them.


Here are some tools to help you overcome some of these perfectionist behaviours.

CHANGING PERFECTIONISTIC THINKING
You can begin by working on changing your way of thinking.

Realistic thinking.
One of the most effective ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and helpful statements. Some statements are “I did my best with the resources I had” and “Making mistakes makes me human”. Practice these helpful statements regularly as they’ll become your new reality.

Perspective-taking.
Perfectionists have a hard time seeing things from another person’s point of view. Learning to view situations as other people might see them can help you to change some of these unhelpful beliefs.

Looking at the big picture.
Perfectionists get bogged down in details and spend a lot of time worrying about “the little things” (e.g. what font to use in an email). One helpful strategy to worry less about details is to ask yourself some questions such as “Does it really matter?” and “What’s the worst that could happen?”.

CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR
Having a problem with perfectionism is a lot like having a “phobia” of making mistakes or being imperfect – you are terrified of making mistakes. Facing fears in a gradual and consistent manner is the most effective way to overcome phobias. For example, to overcome a dog phobia is to gradually spend time with dogs, to learn that they aren’t scary.

Stop yourself from engaging in excessive behaviours designed to prevent imperfection such as repeatedly checking emails for mistakes. Set a time limit.

SETTING REALISTIC STANDARDS
Compromising involves setting more realistic standards or being more flexible with your very high standards. Are you worried if you lower your standards, you’ll let go of them and make mistakes often?

Realistic standards can help you to do your best without costing you things that may be important to you, such as family life, physical and mental health, and leisure time. Also know it’s okay to ask for help. When setting standards ask a supportive person who does not have problems with perfectionism.

OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION
Many with perfectionism cope with their fear of making mistakes by procrastinating, here are some suggestions to overcome procrastination. Create realistic schedules. Break down larger tasks into manageable steps. On a paper, write down the goal or deadline, and work towards it, set small goals for yourself along the way. Set priorities.

Perfectionists sometimes have trouble deciding on where they should devote their energy and effort. Prioritize your tasks by deciding which are the most important to accomplish, and which are less important. It is O.K. not to give 100% on every task.


REPEATED AND FREQUENT PRACTICE!

Practice the techniques you chose several times before you start to feel more comfortable with making mistakes. Don’t be discouraged if your anxiety isn’t gone right away, it’s normal and expected. Practice and repeat.

REWARD YOURSELF
Because it is not easy to face your fears and change ways, make sure to always take the time to reward yourself for all the work you are doing. It is very motivating to give yourself a treat occasionally. A reward might include going out for a nice meal with friends or just taking some time to relax or pamper yourself.


There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Striving to be really good is excellence; trying to be flawless is perfectionism.

If you need some help set up a complimentary breakthrough your boundaries session here  with me to discuss some options

Master the Mind, Master the Game

How to handle anxiety

How Well Do You Handle Anxiety?

Anxiety is typically experienced as worrying about a future or past event. Regardless of what you are worried about, a big part of the problem is that you are not being mindful of the present moment. Anxiety loses its grip when you take your focus off of worry and bring your awareness back to the present.

Do you feel anxious when unexpected change occurs?

Do you break out into a sweat before certain events or meeting new people?

Anxiety is different than fear, but it is related to it.

Fear is a feeling of tension that is associated with a known source of danger.

Anxiety is also a feeling of tension, but in this case, the danger or the threat of danger is unknown. Continue reading

Getting out of a slump: tips to get you motivated!

Getting Out Of A Slump: Tips to Get You Motivated!

Do you ever feel you are in a fog?

What do you do when you are in a slump and you feel like it will last forever?

Many are feeling the effects of the isolation and have fallen into a slump.

Some have found ways to make opportunities and find closer connections, while others are struggling not knowing what to do and wanting their norm back.

I’ve heard despair and hopelessness. Self-talk has turned to negativity and worry. Continue reading

10 health benefits of meditation

10 Health Benefits of Meditation

With our changing world, I find many people are finding their emotions and life are out of order, and their norm. I’m hearing complaints of lack of sleep, overwhelm, chaos, feeling anxiety, and lack of motivation.

Finding calm and having the ability to relax is not easy. I’ve realized the importance of taking time to just be present and focus.

I personally have implemented a daily meditation routine that has enabled me to do more, feel better, and stay focused. The practice of mediation can be calming and insightful. Continue reading

10 Steps to Overcome the Juggling Act

Do you feel like you have too many balls you are juggling at one time?

Are everyday life pressures getting in the way of reaching your goals?

Do you feel there is always something or someone who requires your attention and distracts you from your priorities?

Life can feel like a circus act as it may be filled with drama, elephants in the room you need to address or juggling too many balls at once. So how does one manage? Many think they can multitask to manage it all but guess what? The brain doesn’t function properly when we do that.

Continue reading

Nailed it!

Have you ever had a performance that you nailed?

Did you ever wonder how you could lock that in and repeat it again and again?

Have you ever been able to just focus while chaos is going on around you?

If you can answer “yes” to any of these you may have a skill that others would love to learn to develop.  Continue reading

5 Tips To Managing New Teams & Individuals

When I took on the role of being a step mother 7 years ago, I was entering new territory.  In a way it was and wasn’t. I have taken on many new teams and departments throughout my career so when I think of it I realized this experience seemed familiar and was not new to me.  I’ve learned when entering new territory you can’t just jump right in and be welcomed with open arms. There are challenges along the way and with a plan and process you can have success.
Here are 5 tips that will help you when you take on the role of  manager, parent or coach with new individuals and teams.

Continue reading

5 Key Steps to go from the Pits to the Peak – Getting out of a slump

Do you ever feel you are in a fog?
What do you do when you are in a slump?
Do you feel like it will last forever?

One of my clients is currently in a slump and it’s not to do with their sports. It’s to do with their career performance. They are entrepreneurs, parents, athletes and great people. I had a session with them last week and listened to the despair in their voice and the hopelessness. They feel like a  failure and said to me “I’m overwhelmed unable to even think clearly, so stuck”. Sometimes it can be in your head but it still impacts your mental, emotional, physical and technical abilities. Continue reading

7 Characteristic Traits of A Champion

Have you ever wondered what it takes to be at the top of your game in business or life?

Have you watched great athletes or leaders achieve outstanding results?

Do you feel you have what it takes to do the same?

So, what makes a champion? Raymond Floyd, 1976 Master Winner stated “It’s what is above your shoulders that make you a champion” and that is the truth. The mental game is what makes or breaks you in business, life or sports.  Champions have certain qualities and abilities that gives them the edge to produce amazing results. Here are ones I help develop and feel are 7 key qualities that produce champions:

Continue reading