Almost everyone pursues perfection — doing the best job you can, setting goals and working hard to reach them, and maintaining high standards. But perfectionism isn’t about any of this.

Perfectionism is a maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mistakes, personal limitations, or the changing of minds.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships. Ultimately, it can create or aggravate illnesses.

If you are wondering if you are a perfectionist, answer the following questions:

1. Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?

2. Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry while trying to meet my standards?

3. Have I been told that my standards are too high?

4. Do my standards get in my own way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions you may have a problem with perfectionism.
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Anxiety is typically experienced as worrying about a future or past event. Regardless of what you are worried about, a big part of the problem is that you are not being mindful of the present moment. Anxiety loses its grip when you take your focus off of worry and bring your awareness back to the present.

Do you feel anxious when unexpected change occurs?

Do you break out into a sweat before certain events or meeting new people?

Anxiety is different than fear, but it is related to it.

Fear is a feeling of tension that is associated with a known source of danger.

Anxiety is also a feeling of tension, but in this case, the danger or the threat of danger is unknown. Continue reading →