5 Tips to Soar & Survive the Sizzle!

What will be taking up your time this summer?

Vacations, golf leagues, kids camps plus a demanding work schedule? You may be overwhelmed just thinking of it all before summer begins. Are you wondering how you will survive the summer sizzle and avoid burnout or a slump OR are you excited counting the days until the bell rings and vacations start?

If you are going to focus on work you may want to develop a plan for the summer months that will minimize disruption and maximize opportunities during the hot season.

With a bit of forward planning, you can make your summer sizzle with great results.

Here are my 5 tips to help you soar through summer. Continue reading

Are You a Perfectionist?

Are You a Perfectionist?

Almost everyone pursues perfection — doing the best job you can, setting goals and working hard to reach them, and maintaining high standards. But perfectionism isn’t about any of this.

Perfectionism is a maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mistakes, personal limitations, or the changing of minds.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships. Ultimately, it can create or aggravate illnesses.

If you are wondering if you are a perfectionist, answer the following questions:

1. Do I have trouble meeting my own standards?

2. Do I often feel frustrated, depressed, anxious, or angry while trying to meet my standards?

3. Have I been told that my standards are too high?

4. Do my standards get in my own way? For example, do they make it difficult for me to meet deadlines, finish a task, trust others, or do anything spontaneously?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions you may have a problem with perfectionism.

Perfection

Perfectionism affects how one thinks, behaves, and feels.

If you have difficulties with perfectionism, it can make you feel depressed, frustrated, anxious, and even angry – especially if you constantly criticize yourself for not doing a good enough job after spending a lot of time and effort on a task.

Some examples of perfectionistic thinking are:

  • Black-and-white thinking (e.g. “Anything less than perfection is a failure”)
  • Catastrophic thinking (e.g. “If I make a mistake in front of my others, I’ll be humiliated)
  • Probability overestimation (e.g. “My supervisor will think I am lazy if I take a couple of sick days.”)
  • Should statements (e.g. “I should never make mistakes” )

Some examples of perfectionistic behaviour are chronic procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily, overly cautious, excessive checking, and constantly trying to improve things by re-doing them.


Here are some tools to help you overcome some of these perfectionist behaviours.

CHANGING PERFECTIONISTIC THINKING
You can begin by working on changing your way of thinking.

Realistic thinking.
One of the most effective ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and helpful statements. Some statements are “I did my best with the resources I had” and “Making mistakes makes me human”. Practice these helpful statements regularly as they’ll become your new reality.

Perspective-taking.
Perfectionists have a hard time seeing things from another person’s point of view. Learning to view situations as other people might see them can help you to change some of these unhelpful beliefs.

Looking at the big picture.
Perfectionists get bogged down in details and spend a lot of time worrying about “the little things” (e.g. what font to use in an email). One helpful strategy to worry less about details is to ask yourself some questions such as “Does it really matter?” and “What’s the worst that could happen?”.

CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR
Having a problem with perfectionism is a lot like having a “phobia” of making mistakes or being imperfect – you are terrified of making mistakes. Facing fears in a gradual and consistent manner is the most effective way to overcome phobias. For example, to overcome a dog phobia is to gradually spend time with dogs, to learn that they aren’t scary.

Stop yourself from engaging in excessive behaviours designed to prevent imperfection such as repeatedly checking emails for mistakes. Set a time limit.

SETTING REALISTIC STANDARDS
Compromising involves setting more realistic standards or being more flexible with your very high standards. Are you worried if you lower your standards, you’ll let go of them and make mistakes often?

Realistic standards can help you to do your best without costing you things that may be important to you, such as family life, physical and mental health, and leisure time. Also know it’s okay to ask for help. When setting standards ask a supportive person who does not have problems with perfectionism.

OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION
Many with perfectionism cope with their fear of making mistakes by procrastinating, here are some suggestions to overcome procrastination. Create realistic schedules. Break down larger tasks into manageable steps. On a paper, write down the goal or deadline, and work towards it, set small goals for yourself along the way. Set priorities.

Perfectionists sometimes have trouble deciding on where they should devote their energy and effort. Prioritize your tasks by deciding which are the most important to accomplish, and which are less important. It is O.K. not to give 100% on every task.


REPEATED AND FREQUENT PRACTICE!

Practice the techniques you chose several times before you start to feel more comfortable with making mistakes. Don’t be discouraged if your anxiety isn’t gone right away, it’s normal and expected. Practice and repeat.

REWARD YOURSELF
Because it is not easy to face your fears and change ways, make sure to always take the time to reward yourself for all the work you are doing. It is very motivating to give yourself a treat occasionally. A reward might include going out for a nice meal with friends or just taking some time to relax or pamper yourself.


There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Striving to be really good is excellence; trying to be flawless is perfectionism.

If you need some help set up a complimentary breakthrough your boundaries session here  with me to discuss some options

Master the Mind, Master the Game

How to handle anxiety

How Well Do You Handle Anxiety?

Anxiety is typically experienced as worrying about a future or past event. Regardless of what you are worried about, a big part of the problem is that you are not being mindful of the present moment. Anxiety loses its grip when you take your focus off of worry and bring your awareness back to the present.

Do you feel anxious when unexpected change occurs?

Do you break out into a sweat before certain events or meeting new people?

Anxiety is different than fear, but it is related to it.

Fear is a feeling of tension that is associated with a known source of danger.

Anxiety is also a feeling of tension, but in this case, the danger or the threat of danger is unknown. Continue reading

How to interrupt negative patterns

How to Interrupt Negative Patterns

When unfavorable situations, actions, and emotional conflicts happen again and again in your life — same scene, different characters — there’s a good chance you are in the presence of a negative “pattern.”

Some examples of these negative patterns are: picking the wrong partner, constant conflict with your co-workers, family members, teammates, or coaches, and people-pleasing.

At best, these negative patterns cause frustration. At worst, they cause undue suffering, uphill struggle, sometimes even death.

The good news is you have the power to change these negative patterns.

Continue reading

Bounce Back: Developing Emotional Resilience

Major disruptions are a “gotcha” we all experience at one time or another in our lives. We get fired, laid off, or passed over; a loved one dies, leaves, or gets in trouble; you get injured before a big game, you don’t make the team, or you miss the winning shot. The list, unfortunately, is endless.

For some, the impact of these hard times is overwhelming. Recovery, if it comes at all, can be painfully slow. Others show resilience and are admirably able to glide through these times fairly easily, bouncing back to a normal life again quickly. Resilience—the strength required to adapt to change—acts as our internal compass so we can resourcefully navigate an upset.
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It’s Time to Clear The Chaos

Do you find you are stressed, stuck, and held back from achieving success?

Are you unable to achieve your goals in business, sports, or life because you lack focus, feel overwhelmed, and are in a stuck state?

Many people have a hard time clearing the chaotic thoughts in their minds and get easily distracted. It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. How we think determines our outlook on each day which can affect our ability to succeed.
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How to Bounce Back from Defeat

I love watching a great performance or match. The most recent U.S. Open had me glued to the court. As I watched our Canadian tennis players lose in the U.S. Open, I also witnessed them accept their defeat with grace and respect for their opponent.

The sting of defeat is not easy, and some people will agonize over it and blame themselves for an unfavourable outcome. The negative emotions that arise such as anger, resentment, or sadness can consume you when defeat occurs. This is understandable.

Those with goals – some very BIG goals – put in a lot of work, effort, and time dedicated to achieving the results. Sacrifices are made to succeed. When it doesn’t play out the way you wanted, it can be devastating. When a loss occurs, it can be hard to accept.

How does one deal with defeat and bounce back?
Continue reading

7 Lessons Olympians can teach you blog

7 Lessons Olympians Can Teach You

After an unprecedented year-long delay, the Tokyo Olympics have begun this summer. This year we are unsure of what to expect as we are still living in a pandemic. Many love to watch the Olympics, as I do, and I appreciate it even more having worked with many great athletes.

There are 33 different sports in which we can watch the best compete for their countries hoping to stand on the podium to receive the bronze, silver, or gold medal.

Do you want to learn from the Olympians how to be the best? Do you know what makes them Masters of Performance and the ability to achieve Greatness?

Here are 7 Lessons they can teach you!
Continue reading