Lately, I’ve been going after certain goals and desires and realized I needed a reality check. I’m a goal achiever and when I set my mind to something I achieve it 99% of the time. There were certain goals and plans I had for the remaining part of this year that I hadn’t focused on or accomplished until now. I went to travel the path this month to obtain them and I hit roadblocks. Automatically I felt defeated, let down as they were pretty big goals. So I decided to take a step back and revisit what I wanted. I looked inside myself to determine why I believed certain things were necessary and why certain things seemed unattainable. I had some “ah-ha” moments and this had actually put me on a better path with greater connections and new opportunities.
It is time for a reality check!
- Do you believe that if you achieve certain things you’ll be happier or if you don’t you’ve failed?
- Do you ever assume that you know what others are thinking?
- Do you ever automatically judge others or want to change their ways to be more like you?
- Do you perceive things a certain way and then find out how different they really are?
When you assume that you know what’s in another person’s head or what is going on with an event you’re making a big mistake. When you think your way is the right way recognize it may not be. Let me explain why.
Each person has their own values and beliefs about the world then judge and makes assumptions accordingly. These develop over their lifetime through their experiences and what they have been taught. It’s like an evaluation filter system and encoded in the brain. A person sees the world each day through their eyes, filter the information and create an internal representation of what they THINK is going on. That is their reality, what they believe to be true.
Consider your sense of “reality” is determined every single second by how you choose to filter and process the information presented. You narrow your perspective based on your inner makeup which consist of memories, values, attitudes, and beliefs. This is why your interpretation may be different than that of your partner, your spouse, your parents, your children, your co-workers, your teammates or coaches, etc. as they all have different realities.
You make the choice on what to notice, see, hear, feel, etc. You can choose to focus on solutions, the good or you can focus on the problems, the defective and get stuck. Recognize that everything outside of you is simply a reflect-i-on of your inner world. So what you project is based on what you are made up of and if the outcomes you are having don’t jive – it’s time for a reality check.
You may be wondering how do you stop projecting? Well, I’ve got some news for you: you never stop. You may think, so what’s the point? You need to be aware of what you are projecting and be clear on your reality. Reflect on why you have a certain attitude and beliefs. Why is it important to you for things to be a certain way? Was that your upbringing or did certain things happen that impacted what you believe? Maybe it’s time to let go of what you hold on to or clean the slate and create a new reality if you are feeling stuck or held back.
The next time, you find yourself critical of others, judgmental or stuck and confused take a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- What triggered (inside of me) to cause me to perceive this aspect or situation this way?
- Do these beliefs and attitudes help me or hurt me?
- Is there a part of me that I need to recognize that is being reflected in what I see in others that affect me?
- What else is possible?
- How can I look at this as an observer to see it from a different perspective?
- What can I learn from this that helps me to move forward and release judgment or negativity?
If you need an adjustment or a reality check you can make a change. Having the right mindset and a clear perspective takes time if it’s been clouded.
When you realize your perception isn’t always the reality you want you can change it. Awareness is the start so when you are triggered that is your sign to reflect. Determine what it is you want to be clear and focus on that. Recognize your values, beliefs and how they were set. When you feel the urge to change other people’s behaviors, then it would seem that the most sensible place would be to focus inward and start changing yourself.
If it’s time for a reality check and you need some guidance in making changes contact me for a complimentary mental mastery session or any additional support. I can be reached at: [email protected] or call me at 416-508-0018 to discuss how I can help!